Monday, 28 May 2018

Missed posts

There haven't been may posts during the last fortnight and I attribute this to both Jan resting on her laurels' and the doctors attempting to 'top' me by experimenting with chemicals. Anyway, I've given up on their attempts to help me and have been purging my system of the chemical cocktail that's been making me feel more than a little unwell. Consequentially there isn't much to report.

However I did read about Jeremy Corbyn. Apparently he walked into a bank on Oxford Street to cash a personal cheque. The discussion went along these lines.

JC: I'd like to cash this cheque.

Teller: Certainly sir, could I see some form of identification?

JC: <pause> I don't have any identification on me.  I've never previously been asked for it. I'm Jeremy Corbyn!

Teller: I'm sorry Mr Corbyn but the bank can't cash cheques without identifying the person.

JC: Why and when did this change?

Teller: It's the new government anti-money laundering laws and banking regulations.

JC: Well I don't have any form of identification on me and I need the money.

Teller: Perhaps you could provide some alternative form of identification.

JC: How?

Teller: Well.... we had Tiger Woods in here a month ago in the same situation. He produced a putter and tapped a ball across the foyer floor into a Costa coffee cup. Two months ago Rod Stewart was back in England and wanted to cash a cheque. He sang "We are Sailing" to the entire bank.......

JC: <hummm> Well I've been a parliamentarian for more than 30 years. I've twice won best MP beard of the year. I was recently elected leader of the Labour Party. There really isn't much else I can mention!

Teller: Would a mix of large and small denominations be satisfactory.

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